Finding Middle Ground in Your Life and Divorce

·           So I was looking back on this article I wrote a few years back and noticed there are very few things that are much different as I ponder my goals for 2018. Perhaps this means I never accomplished what I needed to, or perhaps I am, like everyone else, simply a work in progress. Figuring it out is just half the battle, but it definitely is the most important part. 2017 has been marked for me by an endeavor, which I must admit was much more challenging and fulfilling than anything I have ever done before, caring for my terminally ill Mom. It gave me that up close and personal lesson in “life is short” and a literal lesson in “appreciate every breath you take” as Mom struggled to do the very thing we all thankfully take for granted. She died in March after a courageous battle with ALS. I took a whole bunch of necessary time off from this difficult practice to take my turn at full-time nursing (the world’s most undervalued profession,...

This week it began, the holiday lights being strung throughout the neighborhood and a few brave souls are lighting up the pitch darkness of 5 pm already. It is without a doubt my favorite time of the year. There is hope. People are a bit softer and kinder, reaching into a bit deeper into their pockets and cupboards wanting to assuage hunger and prevent disappointment in children during this holiday season. With a brief whiff of evergreen, I am transported back to time when it was just pure joy, even as a child of divorce. It is the one time of year where we pause and think of family no matter how far away or nutty they may be, honor our traditions while we pass them along and make new ones. There is a general shift focus on making other people happy. In a time when there is so much sadness, glimpses of a smile from another weary traveler or a beleaguered gate attendant reminds us we are not alone. There is joy and accomplishment in each cookie baked, present wrapped and warm greeting...

2014 has been marked for me by an endeavor which I must admit has been far more fun than the actual practice of family law, blogging on Huffington Post. This putting people back together thing (four couples this year) is certainly not the world's greatest business model, that's for sure. I make a living when it all falls apart. The messier it is, the more money I make. The older I get though, I have found there needs to be some balance, some joy along with the sadness. Among my favorite articles are the ones about marriage and trying to find that often-elusive recipe for a successful relationship. These are gleaned from observations of 21 years of failed marriages, my own fairly tragic choices (although, in hindsight, perhaps blessings), and finally, a relationship that makes me believe there is actually someone (with a keen sense of humor) watching over me. I have enjoyed writing the   10 Ways to Stay the Hell out of My Office ;   The 12 Wedding Vows Your Divorce Attorney...

I have had the privilege and pleasure of representing some amazing people over the last 21 years who just could not make it work. Some really hardworking, big-hearted, intelligent, successful and beautiful people (inside and out) have been my clients. When you spend months and even years with people during a difficult time, there is a mutual admiration and friendship that sometimes lasts even after the divorce is over. I have a client who still brings doughnuts to my office 10 years later. I sometimes jokingly tell my clients that we have to approve of anyone they marry the next time around. Perhaps the strangest part of it all is that I have been asked several times to actually marry people. Seriously, your divorce lawyer? How is that ever a good idea? Look, I am a big believer in love, in second chances and in the whole until the end of time thing. My husband has actually officiated at two unsuccessful unions in the name of the authority vested in him as a... notary public. Roma...

Marriage Advice from a Divorce Lawyer It is amazing that despite the fact we spend most of our lives either searching for love and companionship or being in a relationship, this is the one thing we are never really taught how to do.  Expectations and patterns are determined by the successful (and not so successful) relationships we see as children, on television, and by trial and error.  By the time you walk through the front door of my office, it is often too late.  And divorce sucks.  It’s expensive and emotionally devastating.  In 20 years of experience practicing law, I have often wondered why so many relationships fail.  The complaints I have heard over the years have similarities in what was “missing.”  Even when there is an affair, it is usually a symptom rather than a cause.  Did these people know the things about their partner that now drives them out the door before they got married?  (Most of the time the answer is yes)....